


So Big/So Small: Modern AU Maglor and Elrond

by SemperAeternumQue



Series: Finding Your Place: A Silmarillion Modern AU [4]
Category: The Lord of the Rings - J. R. R. Tolkien, The Silmarillion and other histories of Middle-Earth - J. R. R. Tolkien
Genre: Adoption, Angst, Broken Families, Elrond is a good dad, Families of Choice, Family Feels, Gen, I'm Sorry, I'm really very sorry for this, Implied/Referenced Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Implied/Referenced Character Death, Implied/Referenced Suicide, Inspired by Dear Evan Hansen, Maglor is also a good dad, Music, Sad, Songs, Unconventional Families, this may make you cry, very sad
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-27
Updated: 2019-05-27
Packaged: 2020-03-20 10:07:14
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 510
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18990508
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SemperAeternumQue/pseuds/SemperAeternumQue
Summary: Songs sung by two fathers to two children, when they need it the most.





	1. The Ambulance in the Driveway: Maglor to Elrond

**Author's Note:**

> Let me preface this by saying I'm sorry. I did not intend for this to happen. 
> 
> I was just innocently listening to So Big/So Small from Dear Even Hansen (go listen to it if you haven't heard it yet; it's amazing), and suddenly I was like 'wait a minute, what if my modern AU Maglor sung this to my modern AU Elrond?' It got a little out of hand, and now I have two different versions of the song, rewritten to fit my modern AU better. 
> 
> This first one is Maglor singing to Elrond, describing the day that Maedhros committed suicide. If you haven't read anything in my modern AU, basically you need to know that at this point in the story Elrond and Elros have been adopted by Maglor and Maedhros (and sorta Fingon), Elros has left to some 'Isle of the Gift', Fingon has died in a car crash and Maedhros has committed suicide because he doesn't want to live without Fingon. There is also a reference to my modern AU Elrond's depression/suicidal thoughts. "There will be no other ambulance in our driveway/Because I’m never going away" 
> 
> Yeah, this isn't happy. I'm sorry.

It was a sunny summer day  
When Maedhros fell to grief, his soul flying away  
An ambulance in our driveway  
The day everything fell apart

I hoped you wouldn’t see him die  
But you heard my scream  
And you held me so tight  
An ambulance in our driveway  
And it took Maedhros away

Goodbye, goodbye  
Now it's just me and the one who didn’t die  
And the house felt so big, and I felt so small  
The house felt so big, and I felt so small 

That night, I tucked you into bed  
I will never forget how you held me and said  
"There will be no other ambulance in our driveway  
Because I’m never going away"

And the house felt so big, and I felt so small  
The house felt so big, and I  
And I knew there would be things I’d fail at  
And I knew there would be space I couldn't fill  
And I knew I'd come up short a million different ways  
And I did  
And I do  
And I will

But like that terrible day  
I will take your hand, squeeze it tightly and say  
There's not an ambulance in our driveway

And I’m not going anywhere  
I am staying right here  
And I’m not going anywhere  
I am staying right here

No matter what  
I'll be here

When it all feels so big  
'Til it all feels so small  
When it all feels so big  
'Til it all feels so small  
'Til it all feels so small


	2. A Mom Who Never Returned: Elrond and Arwen

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This version is the one Elrond would sing to Arwen, describing when Celebrian left to rehab. If you haven't read my modern AU, the context is basically this:  
> Celebrian was/is an alcoholic.   
> Elrond sent her away to rehab.  
> She never returned.   
> Elrond took care of the kids ever after. 
> 
> I'm sorry.

It was a February day  
When your mom packed up, before going away  
A rehab center van in the driveway  
The day it was suddenly real

I told you not to come outside  
But you saw momma  
And you smiled so wide  
That rehab center van in our driveway  
They let you hold your mom’s hand

Goodbye, goodbye  
Now it's just me and my little ones  
And the house felt so big, and I felt so small  
The house felt so big, and I felt so small

That night, I tucked you into bed  
I will never forget how you sat up and said  
"Is there another van coming to our driveway?  
A van that will take daddy away"

And the house felt so big, and I felt so small  
The house felt so big, and I  
And I knew there would be moments that I'd miss  
And I knew there would be space I couldn't fill  
And I knew I'd come up short a billion different ways  
And I did  
And I do  
And I will

But like that February day  
I will take your hand, squeeze it tightly and say  
There's not another van in the driveway

Your dad isn't going anywhere  
Your dad is staying right here  
Your dad isn't going anywhere  
Your dad is staying right here  
No matter what  
I'll be here

When it all feels so big  
'Til it all feels so small  
When it all feels so big  
'Til it all feels so small  
'Til it all feels so small


End file.
